As a musician, I have experienced a lot of mental and physical pain. I feel like I’ve spent most of my life with a certain level of anxiety and stress. I know that there is no escape from depression. I feel I should have been able to change when I grew up.
Well, I can tell you that I have never been depressed. I know that I am not “normal” by any stretch of the imagination. I have had a lot of close calls with anxiety and depression. But I never suffered from the “depression of normalcy.” I have always been very curious about what a normal life looks like. As a kid I went to a lot of parties and events. I remember being pretty nervous about going to the roller derby.
It’s a great feeling to have a friend who is depressed. It’s weird. I feel like I’ve been around everybody who is depressed. But I never have been depressed. Well, maybe once or twice.
What’s more, I feel like Ive been around everybody who has been depressed. I am not depressed. I am just normal. And I feel like I would have been better if I had never been born.
A few years ago I was in the movie “The Last of Us.” I was watching “The Office” and I saw a cartoon made by a person who was in the movie and who I was really excited to see. I was watching a movie I was going to watch if I liked it. I was really excited, because I felt like I had been there before.
So, I went on a mental-health kick for about a year, so I think I am a little off about that topic. I don’t think I was depressed or anxious at all. I think I just felt really really, really lonely. I felt like I was missing out on the social interaction that I used to get as a child. I felt like I had no one to talk to about anything. I was at my lowest ebb and I did not know what to do.
The feeling of loneliness is one of the most common feelings that we have around this time of the year, but it is also one of the most difficult to recognize. When our society puts so much pressure on us to look our best, we often fail to realize that we still have free will and that we can still do things that are good for us. We can choose to be socially awkward and socially incompetent, or we can choose to be the person that everyone wants to hang out with.
It’s all a matter of perspective. The way that we measure our self-worth is that we want to impress others and make ourselves seem valuable, but we also want to want to be able to do what’s good for us. So when we’re on the street corner or in a mall, we may not be able to see the positive in ourselves that we can still be doing things for our own good.
We have a hard time letting go of that self-worth that we feel we need to do all the good things we want to do because of who we are. This is why I get so upset when I see people that are socially awkward and socially incompetent. I feel as though they can never say no to themselves for fear of being called lazy and/or not doing their own thing. But that’s not who I am.
The idea of self-worth, or lack thereof, is the reason why I think even those that have some self-worth can become really self-concerned and self-absorbed. Sometimes it takes someone who is not so self-aware to realise that they have a real need to be a part of society, that they are not just a bunch of dorky teenagers that want to hang out with their friends.
